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2.

Suzanne and I left Berkeley sometime late in the afternoon. We took the long way towards Los Angeles by driving through Livermore and Tracy before going south. It was a long drive but since my license was still suspended, I wasn’t able to help relieve her.

The drive to Los Angeles is visually, an uneventful drive. Looking out the window, there is row after row of empty yellow field, broken up with lush patches of green that uniform in size and shape. Depending on the season, some are for grapes, some are for lettuce or alfalfa, or oranges. Since this the beginning of September and the weather was still reasonably warm, they were mostly oranges.

We didn’t talk much. We were inseparable for few days. If it was not just Suzanne and I, then it was Suzanne and I and our friends. Maybe we had talked ourselves out and during the long empty drive, we realized how empty our whirlwind connection really was.

"Let’s play a game," she said.
"Sure, what kind of game?"
"Let’s count miles. For every sixty miles or so that we drive, we’ll stop and take pictures."
"So we’ll stop and take pictures every hour. That’s a bit much."
"Ok. How about for every two hours? And every time I have to stop and get gas."
"Alright."

My camera was underneath the passenger seat but we didn’t really take any pictures or follow through with the game, even when we stopped to get gas. At one station, she went in to get some red vines and chips while I watched the gas pump for her. I took a picture of it. It was a terrible picture of just gas meter along with the rubber hoses that came out of it. Suzanne also bought a newspaper and we got back into the car and continued driving.

"I’m starting to feel tired."
"Did you get any coffee?"
"No, I forgot. But I got candy."
"Eat some more then."
"I’ve had enough. I’m going to get fat."
"Okay," I said. I was flipping through the newspaper. It was a copy of the New York Times. It was the first New York Times I ever held in my hand.
"Are they talking about Desperate Housewives?" she said.
"Yeah. How do you know?"
"I saw the picture of Susan and she’s wearing a wedding dress."
"Yes she is."
"I guess you don’t watch it."
"I’ve seen a few episodes. But only because I love Teri Hatcher. I told you remember, I’ve loved her since Lois and Clark."
"You should watch it. The season finale is tonight. I can’t wait."
"What time does it come on?"
"Around nine. Oh god. I hope we make it on time. I think we’re fine though."
"Well, we should get to LA around seven."
"Yeah. But there’s crazy traffic. You might know. But this is LA"

"Hey. You know what you can do, you can read the newspaper for me," she said.
"Sure."
So I read the newspaper for the next few hours. We went from the front of the front page to the classifieds. I read to her stories about the stock market, about abortion, about the literacy rate of American students compared to students from other countries, about the New York Giants, about Susan and the grand finale of "Desperate Housewives", about some celebrity marriage, about civil war in Africa, the war in Iraq, and about the bans on tuna fishing and how sushi prices will go up as a result, just among many other things. And in the meantime, we passed by small cities such as Los Banos, Coalinga, Huron, Avenal, Lost Hills, Buttonwillow, Bakersfield, that you would forget about as you on they came and went on the road until we finally at the foothills of the San Bernadino Mountains.

Almost at least, we stopped for lunch at a Jack In The Box.

"You don’t eat much do you?" she said.
"No. Not really. I guess not when I’m around people."
I had bought a Jumbo Jack value meal with criss-cross fries but most of it was untouched.
"You don’t have to be shy or anything."
"I know. I just don’t feel like eating too much right now I guess."
"Are you nervous?"
"Why should I be?"
"I don’t know. You’re running away with a girl who has a boyfriend."
"I’m going with the flow, like you always say, for a change. Do you think I’m living life?"
"I don’t know. Do you think you are?"
"I’ll finish this Jumbo Jack and let you know I guess."

I felt tired and wanted to nap. But thought it would be unfair for me to sleep while Suzanne continued driving. She brought our her Jay Zhou cd’s and she told me she much she loved him and how talented she thought he was. "But his rapping sucks," I said, "Sorry."
"It’s ok. I guess it’s not for everyone."
"But I have nothing against his ballet, I actually listen to them a lot."
I started to swing a few lines of Mandarin that I had memorized the sound of, because I didn’t speak it.
"That’s not Jay Zhou though. That’s David Tao."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah. I’m serious. I’d know."
"Hm…." I tried singing another song.
"Ok. That’s one is Jay Zhou."

"Suzanne, are you sure it’s okay?"
"What is okay?"
"This."
"I told him already that you’re coming to visit."

It was silent for a few minutes Then she said, "I’m going to hell," under her breath, "I’ve cheated on him before."
"When was this?"
"The last time I went to Vegas. It was just some guy I met a club."
"Does he know?"
"Yeah. We worked through it. It was very hard. But we got through it."
"That’s good."
"But it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m going to break up with him soon."

I had always known, well, people have always told me, that girls like this were bad. That they weren’t worth it. That I will end up being the one hurt in the end. But I didn’t care. I guess I was young and naive. And I wanted the thrill of being with someone like this. Being on the emotional edge of not caring about consequences and outcomes but also feeling uneasy. Uneasy. That’s what she made feel happy, but I was excited and I didn’t care. I didn’t know him anyway. He was just a name and she would break up with him soon.

We got to Los Angeles sometime in the early evening. Traffic wasn’t as bad as she had prophesied and we made our way to Westwood where her apartment was. "It’s overcast," I said.
"Yeah. It’s probably the pollution."
"Really?"
"It’s been a while since you’ve been to LA right?"
"Yeah. At least two years."
"Well, this is my apartment."
"Nice."
"We’ll clean the car out later, I know it’s a mess. But we can get our bags first."

I took my bags out of the trunk of her car. Just a bag full of clothes and another bag for my camera. I didn’t bring a sleeping bag or pillow. She said I wouldn’t need to. I also helped her with hers and made our way through the door of the apartment complex.
"I don’t think my roommates should be home right now. But if they are, they’re really nice."
"I’m glad then."
"We just moved in about a week or two ago so I’m sorry if things are a bit empty and there are boxes laying around."
"You’ve got the basics at least right?"
"Yeah, we do have that at least. And we also have the coffee machine up."
"We’ll need it if you want to stay awake through the show."
"Of course."

"Okay. This is my apartment"
She turned the key for the door and I entered.

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